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How to talk to children about divorce

Couples in Colorado are not immune from the impact of divorce. In fact, Colorado had the 10th highest divorce rate in the country in January 2017, according to data from Metro USA

There are many difficult topics to go through in a divorce, including alimony and child custody. However, one of the hardest things to do is simply telling any children you share that you and your spouse will separate. There are ways to make this conversation easier on you, your spouse and your children.

Do it together

Both spouses should share the responsibility of informing the children of the impending divorce. This helps create some cohesion, and it will make split custody down the road much easier. The important thing here is to make sure your children know they played no part in this separation. 

Allow your children to feel

Children react differently to divorce. Some will understandably feel sad or angry. Other children will react positively because they are thankful the anger and arguments in the household will end. Do not assume which side your child will fall on. Regardless of how your child reacts, those feelings are valid. 

Answer questions

Make it clear you are there to answer any questions your child may have about the divorce. Depending on the age of your child, he or she may have a ton of questions or none at all. Be honest during this time. Make it clear these next few months will be tumultuous. 

Keep future arguments out of the child's eyes

After the initial conversation, it will probably take a few months for the divorce to be final. During that time, there may be some troubles. Perhaps you and your spouse will disagree on one aspect. Keep these arguments away from any children. You need to set a good example and show that two people can work through differences and divorce without resorting to yelling at each other. 


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